We Speak, Too!! ...er...Two!!
by BjdIII
Summary: The sequal(sp?) to We Speak! by Haer'Dalis!! Now we're in the LotR:FotR world!!!


BjdIII: hello. I am the Mistress of Lunacy, Black Jaws of Death the Third. But you can call me...BjdIII. This is the sequel to: "We Speak!" by Haer'Dalis (and I). yet again, we struck up a conversation on the net, and this story was born. Heh...and but since Haer'Dalis didn't send me his author's notes, I'll have to make them up for him. So...without further ado, here's "Haer'Dalis" and his Rants:

Haer'Dalis: This is rated PG-13 for some comments near the end. And there is some yaoi references...so leave if you aren't allowed to read that stuff. Or DO NOT LET YOUR PARENTS FIND OUT!!! Um....this is long...so beware.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

...yes...

====================

Communication Commenced

====================

It was another ~normal~ conversation....

Haer: i'll be right back, i just need to bring some snax

BjdIII: brb, too

BjdIII: me back!

Duo: i hope he brings some snax for me too....

BjdIII: quiet you

Duo: why?

BjdIII: 'cause

Duo: 'cause, why?

BjdIII: *be*cause....

Haer: duo. there's never enough snax for you

Duo: BUT I WANT SOME SNAX!!!!

Duo: *pouts*

Haer: fine

*hands duo a pretzel*

Haer: there, a snax

Duo *Like a happy school girl*: GOODY!!!

BjdIII: Duo, shut up. The movie's starting

Haer: *To BjdIII* And he's your boyfriend?

BjdIII: yeah... he's so sweet when he wants to be!

BjdIII: ^_^

Duo *with mouth full*: so I *am* you're boyfriend?

BjdIII: would you like to disagree?

Haer: there's only 1 right answer...

Duo: er..... yes? no? maybe? I HAVE NO IDEA!!! HELP ME HAER!!!

Haer: i'd wager that, if you said no, we'd have a reapeat of earlier. with her going apeshit on you

Duo: i don't want that...

BjdIII: no you don't

Haer: no, you don't

Duo: ...i can't fight on an empty stomach

BjdIII: *facefaults* 

BjdIII: whatever.... Let's just watch the movie!!

Haer: YAY!!!!!!!!!! Hobbits!!!!!!

BjdIII: Elves!! LEGOLAS!!!

Duo: FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BjdIII: I like to 'frolic' with the elves....

Haer: I bet

BjdIII: especially Legolas...

Haer: ^_^;;

Duo: *wide eyes* you like to 'frolic' with them!?!?

BjdIII: *looks at Duo* you mean...you're *jealous*?!

Haer: Yeah, 'cause he knows he's not good enough to compete with an elf

Haer: :-P

BjdIII: damn straight! elves are cool! 'cause they have pointy ears!!

Duo: *pouts*

BjdIII: aw...but I still love you Duo *glomps*

Haer: Shhhh........ movie starting

Duo: And I'm not?

BjdIII: because Legolas is *real*, and that means the guy that places him (Orlando Bloom) probably already has a girlfriend! you're not real, so everyone in the world can claim you...and i could still have you!!

BjdIII: hey...and did you notice the guy that plays legolas has the same last name as Catherine from Gundam Wing?? 

Duo: no...I didn't. Noticing little things is Heero's job

Haer: Hey! That's trowa's real last name too! Triton Bloom. ooooooooooo I am smart!

BjdIII: hey, yeah!! how many brothers does that circus woman have!

BjdIII: that you are, Haer...

BjdIII: that you are...

Duo: *snorts*

Haer: quiet, Duo

BjdIII: yes, quiet Duo

Duo: BUT WH~Y!??!

BjdIII: because if you do, you can put your head in my lap while you watch the movie...

Duo: GOODY!!!

Haer: Can we get on with the movie?

*Duo does so*

BjdIII: good. See Haer? I made him be quiet!

BjdIII: NOW PLAY THE DAMN MOVIE!

Duo: Soo... soft....

BjdIII: er....yeah... ^_^;;

Haer: *Plays the movie*

AND SUDDENLY... IN A SWIRL OF WHITE LIGHT....

Duo: I see the *light*!! IT BURNS!!!!! *covers eyes*

Haer: *Does likewise* OWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIE!!!!!!!!!!

BjdIII: yes, yes it does *continues staring at burning white light*

AND SUDDENLY... THEY DROP INTO.... THE SHIRE!!! *screams of horror*

Haer: I think a hobbit went up my ass

BjdIII: ^o^

Haer: *removes said hobbit*

BjdIII: Why! It's Pippin Took!!

Haer: that's gonna hurt if I sit down...

Duo: where are we?

BjdIII: we are here

BjdIII: of course

Haer: In The Shire

Duo: what the Hell is a "The Shire"?

Haer: MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm....... Hobbit food..........

Duo: FOOD!?!?!?!

Haer: lots

BjdIII: yeah

Haer: about 9 meals a day.......

BjdIII: and we get breakfast, and second breakfast, and tea-time, and supper and dinner and snack time

BjdIII: and a bunch of other stuff. 

Haer: let's not forget lunch, or brunch!

Duo *starry eyes*: re~ally?!? *_*

BjdIII: yes...really...

BjdIII: and i haven't had breakfast yet...

BjdIII: AND I WANT TO SEE LEGOLAS!!!!! 

Duo: *grr* *to Haer* what does that guy have that I don't?

Haer: umm.... pointy ears?

BjdIII: a man's gotta have pointy ears!!

Duo: *eye twitches* pointy...ears...

Duo: AHHHHH!!!!

Haer: *points to his pointy ears* See, like mine!

BjdIII: *looks at Haer* POINTY EARS!!! *hugs Haer like there's no tomorrow*

Haer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haer: *prys her off with a crowbar*

Haer: *crowbar breaks*

Haer: shit...

Duo: well if you're so smart, Haer.... Why don't you get me to take her off?

BjdIII: DUO HAS NO POINTY EARS!!!!! THAT NOT GOOD!!!

BjdIII: I NEED POINTY EEEEEAAAARRRRSSSS!!!!

Haer: because, she'll probably go apeshit on you

Duo: *eyes narrow* 

BjdIII: *falls off of Haer for...no apparent reason*

Haer: dude, it's female logic, don't blame me

Duo: how would *you* know about female logic?

Duo: unless...

Haer: say it, and you're dead

Haer: 'cause I'm not

BjdIII: DON'T SAY IT!!!!!! YOU'D BE POISONING MY POOR VIRGIN EARS!!!

BjdIII: **VIRGIN

Duo: I live with you and you say you have virgin ears? *laughs* that's not what you were screaming last night...

Haer: *Laughs so hard, his spleen implodes*

Haer: oh well, not like I needed it

duopanthress: *smiles* that mattress spring symphony was the best one yet!!

duopanthress: ^_^;;

Haer: *shudders at the thought*

duopanthress: you need that to live, Haer

Haer: actually, no

Haer: the spleen's fuctions, if destroyed, are taken up by the liver

Haer: so :-P

BjdIII: oh

BjdIII: okay

Duo: i thought we were on the subject of last night! *pouts*

Haer: I'd rather not hear it

BjdIII: er...we were!!

BjdIII: but the reason I did all that was because I imagined you as Legolas!!

BjdIII: ^____^

Haer: oh shit

Haer: dead woman walking

Duo: Right you are, Haer

Duo: *looks at BjdIII* and you are not happy with me?

duopanthress: did i *say* that Duo?

Haer: actually, you did

BjdIII: oh...really? er....oooooookay....

BjdIII: *looks at Duo* meep! Duo...don't hurt me...

BjdIII: Thing reasonably!!!

BjdIII: er...think NORMALLY!!!

Haer: you said anything without pointy ears isn't good, and that duo has no pointy ears... so...

BjdIII: you're not *helping*, Haer!!

Duo: Are you sure you want me to think normally?

BjdIII: er...no...don't

BjdIII: because you can't think with your head anyways!!

BjdIII: ^_^

BjdIII: you think with your *there is a VERY loud cricket*

Duo: That's true

Random Hobbit: who are you?

Haer: I am the Great Haer'Dalis!

Haer: who might you be, little hobbit?

Duo: I am Duo Maxwell!! I may run and I may hide, but I never tell a lie!!

BjdIII: *snort*

Haer: yes you will

RH (Random Hobbit): my name is Frodo Baggins! *smiles* *looks at BjdIII like it's his lost love found*

RH: who are *you*, Pretty Lady?

Duo: Get. Away. From. Her. Now!

BjdIII: *blinkies* me...? er... I'm the physcotic Black Jaws of the Death the Third!!

Duo: She's MINE!!!!!

Frodo Baggins: and what if I don't?

Frodo: whatcha gonna do about it?! *glares*

Haer: Actually, she likes me, and my pointy ears better

Duo: Ever heard of Shinigami?

BjdIII: i pretended you were Legolas, too, Haer!! ^_^

Frodo: no....

Haer: *twich*

Frodo: is that Elfish?

BjdIII: i'm surprised i didn't do anything else other than hug you...

Haer: actually, it's japanese

Haer: O.O

Frodo: japan-ease?

BjdIII: *whispering* guys, this is MIDDLE EARTH. They don't know about anything!!

Haer: never mind

Frodo: eh....ok

Frodo: we're having a party tonight though... Would you like to join us?

Frodo: and are you *points to Haer* and Elf?

Haer: is there food?

Frodo: yes, there's food

Haer: umm.............. I'm not exactly what you'd call an elf

Duo: *currently trying not to strangle Frodo* Food!?!? 

Duo: where!?!?

Haer: party, tonite

Duo: oh. COOL!!!

BjdIII: er...i hope no one's forgotten about me. -_-;;

Haer: of course not

Frodo *in French accent*: never, my cheri

Frodo: *kisses BjdIII's hand*

Haer: just realise this, Legolas might not accept you

Haer: Remember, he's the prince of Mirkwood

BjdIII: of course he will... and why is the Hobbit kissing my hand...?

Haer: think of the princesses

BjdIII: i know..... er... where's Duo? I need him right about now...

Haer: *thinks of the princesses**Drools*

Frodo: *slowly kissing upwards*

Haer: Duo! We need you for a sec

BjdIII: *in terror* DUO!!!!!

Duo: *Mouth stuffed with food* What?

Haer: Gack!

Duo: Gack

Frodo: *at BjdIII's neck*

BjdIII: AHHHHHHH!!! HENTAI!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!

BjdIII: *hits Frodo with mallet*

Duo *Punches Frodo halfway across the Shire*: And stay there!

BjdIII: my heero!! *glomps Duo*

BjdIII: I mean...HERO!!!

Haer: Frodo*Far away*:Help...

BjdIII: dammit, i can never spell that without two e's the first time...

Frodo: i hurt.......

Haer: I bet

Haer: so far, you're the only person duo's hit like that, without crumpling into a bloody pulp

Haer: good job

Haer: So, where's this party?

Haer: *Stomach grumbles*

Duo: Yeah, where is it?

Haer: BjdIII, U know the way, don't you?

Haer: hello?

Haer: Cut!

Haer: Are you there?

Haer: HELLO????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? (At this time, BjdIII had gotten comp. problems...)

Haer: are you there?

Haer: well? are you?

Haer: hello?

Duo: Right, she'll just have to catch up afterwards

Haer: Yeah, she will

Haer: *Later*

Haer: MMMMmmmmmmmmm......... Food...........

Haer: Duo: MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ doof....... I mean, food..........

BjdIII: sorry!!!

BjdIII: the power on my comp. went out or something...

Haer: oh

BjdIII: good thing it rescued the conversation

BjdIII: ^_^

Haer: ^_^

Haer: where were we...

Haer: oh yeah, duo and I already started eating

BjdIII: lol

BjdIII: ok

Haer: MMMMmmmmmmmmm......... Food...........

BjdIII: eh...yeah....

Duo: MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ doof....... I mean, food..........

BjdIII: *laughs*

BjdIII: *hugs Duo* *in silky/seductive voice* thank you for saving me from that hentai...Hobbit...thing....

Duo: Food! Talk later!

BjdIII: *facefaults*

Haer: Mmmmm.... Pass the turkey

BjdIII: hmm... *lightbulb lights up over head* *S/S voice again* Duo.....

Duo: Mph?

BjdIII: what if i showed you how *much* i'm grateful for you saving me...?

Duo: More food?

BjdIII: er....no...

BjdIII: something hot and steamy... ^_^

Duo: Chinese food?

BjdIII: nope...

BjdIII: it's not technically *food*....

Duo: Japanese food?

BjdIII: NO YOU BAKA!!!!

Duo: Well, if it's not food, then show me later

BjdIII: *cries* I'm not going to get through to him... I'm not going to get what I want...

BjdIII: *cries some more*

Haer: Wait 'till he's stuffed, then, anything sounds good

Haer: Untill then, don't even bother

BjdIII: yeah...but...but....he doesn't look like he's going to stop eating anytime soon!

BjdIII: *cries*

BjdIII: stupid Shinigami...

Haer: *Scarf**Munch**Gorge**Devour**Eat**Masticate*

BjdIII: *stomach makes weird noises*

BjdIII: hmm...it seems that i am hungry...

BjdIII: *starts stuffing face*

BjdIII: ok

BjdIII: back

BjdIII: where were we?

BjdIII: oh yeah, we ended off where i started stuffing my face... hehe ^_^

Haer: *Eat**devour**masticate*

BjdIII: *stuffs face some where*

BjdIII: **more

Haer: *facefaults*

Haer: And where are you stuffing your face?

BjdIII: er...'

BjdIII: next to Duo

BjdIII: ^_^

Haer: good save

BjdIII: hehehehe

Frodo: *looking quite beat up and hurt* *looks at BjdIII* *gasp* there you are my precious...

Haer: Get in line buddy

BjdIII: *twitch twitch* you better not go physco on me...that's my job

BjdIII: **phsyco

Haer: ***psycho

BjdIII: yeah...

BjdIII: whatev

Duo: Touch her again, and I'll break you so bad, even humpty dumpty will pity you

Frodo: who is this...humpty dumpty?

BjdIII: *facefaults*

Haer: *Likewise*

Duo:*Likewise*

Frodo: *shrugs and starts massaging BjdIII's shoulders*

BjdIII: *twitch twitch*

BjdIII: get *away* from me!!

Haer: *Duo  breaks Frodo so bad, even humpty dumpty pities him*

BjdIII: LOL!!!

THEN...BILBO COMES ON STAGE!!! *Bilbo says some stuff. Bilbo disappears. Watch him disappear!!*

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

AT BILBO'S SMALL LITTLE HOBBIT HOUSE.... *The whole scene in Biblo's house and Bilbo goes sorta crazy and all that crap...*

LOTSA TIME PASSES

Time: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! WAIT UP!!!!!!!!!!

BjdIII: BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! NEVER!!

BjdIII: BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!

Duo: o.O;;

Haer: *Steps back from psycho lady*

*the scene where they're having the coucil at Elrond*

Haer: ooohhhh

Elrond: I now pronounce you, the Fellowship of the Ring!

Duo: Can I kiss the bride?

Haer: No, I get to

BjdIII: as long as I'm the bride!!

BjdIII: ^_^

Elrond: -_-;;

Haer: Everyone but us: -_-;;

Legolas: who are these three....people? elves? ... What are they?

BjdIII: *gasp* OMIGOD!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU BEFORE!!!!!

Haer: I'm mostly elf...

BjdIII: LEGO~LAS!!!!!! 

BjdIII: *glomps Legolas*

BjdIII: ...and we'll have big house and lots and lots of kids and...

Legolas: O.O Help. me!

Gimli: Yer on yer own, elf-boy!

BjdIII: BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

BjdIII: But don't you *love* me, Prince of Mirkwood?

BjdIII: *bats eyelashes*

Legolas: I have a girlfriend...

BjdIII: WHAT?!?!?!?!?

BjdIII: WHO!?!?!?!?!?!

Legolas: An elven girlfirend

Duo: *whispering* YESSSS!!!

BjdIII: but i'm al elf, too!! *wink wink, hint hint*

BjdIII: **an

Legolas: No, you're not

BjdIII: yes i am!! watch!! 

BjdIII: *starts doing some...weird stuff...*

Everone but BjdIII: *claps*

Legolas: ... but that doesn't prove you're an elf...

BjdIII: okay...so I'm not an Elf... I'm some creature that resembles a human but can turn into a demon whenever i want to... SO WHAT!?!?!

Legolas: My girlfriend is the princess of Fangorn, who I really need to see soon...

Haer: *Runs away as fast as he possibly can* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

BjdIII: .... Actually...

Haer: Run! Run, Elfboy!

BjdIII: i'm a Ctarl-Ctarl... ^___^

Haer: RUN!

BjdIII: that turns into a wolf instead of a big, cat, beastie thingy...

BjdIII: hehehehe....

Haer: Ctarl-Ctarl? Oh shit.............

BjdIII: *blinks*

Duo: Whassat?

BjdIII: It's a human mixed with a beast, like a tiger, lion, bear (oh my!), or wolf or something...

BjdIII: like were-bears, were-lions, were-wolves, were-stuff...

BjdIII: yeah...

Duo: Can I be a were-Pionty-ears-guy?

Duo: *pointy

BjdIII: uh.....

BjdIII: okay!!

BjdIII: Gandalf!!

Gandalf: yes M'lady?

BjdIII: turn him into a were-elf!

Gandalf: Impossible

BjdIII: WHAT!?!?!?!?!!?!

BjdIII: WHY NOT!?!?

Gandalf: I don't do that sort of thing. I'm not that kind of wizard

BjdIII: you're not even a wizard

BjdIII: you're an Istari...

Duo: *Pouts*

BjdIII: *grumbles*

BjdIII: oh well....

BjdIII: I'll have to seduce Legolas as we go along with the story... In the meantime, Duo will be my main squeeze!!

BjdIII: *glomps Duo*

Duo:*Glomps BjdIII*

everyone: aww.....

Frodo: *grr* 

Haer: Quiet, hobbit

Duo: so soft!!

BjdIII: um....so...er......muscular!

Duo: so soft.....

Haer: What's so soft, Duo?

BjdIII: *sigh* just embarass me why doncha?

Duo: so so so so so soooo soft...

Haer: *Feels alone*

Haer: *pouts*

Haer: I feel alone...

BjdIII: uh....there's Arwen!

BjdIII: yeah!! go hug Arwen!

Aragorn: OH NO YOU DON'T!!!

Aragorn: she's MINE!!!

Haer: *Socks Aragorn*

*Whap!*

Haer: I think not...

Elrond: -_-;; *sigh* JUST GET OUT OF HERE YOU WIMPODITES!!!

Aragon: mommy...

BjdIII: *gasp* you hurt Aragorn

Haer: ah, it's not like he's a king, or anything....

BjdIII: he *is* a King!! THE KING OF THE WEST!!!

Haer: D'oh!

BjdIII: did you know if Treize was a wizard, he'd be the wonderful wizard of OZ?

BjdIII: sorry...i just had to say that

Haer: *Haer and Duo facefault*

Frodo: I don't get it

Elrond: GET OUT OF MY KINGDOM!!!!!

BjdIII: yikes...

Haer: make me

BjdIII: king elf is mad...

*Elrond makes them get out*

BjdIII: hey... how'd he do that without me going Apeshit or turning into my beast form...?

BjdIII: *puzzled*

Haer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

BjdIII: what??

Legolas: Orcs?

All of the Fellowship: *take out swords and look around*

Haer: Orcs! Whee!

BjdIII: when you're a kid and you wanna go we~ee...

BjdIII: but you ain't go drugs yet...

DamientheAnubis: *Takes out a huge axe*

BjdIII: hang on for your life....

BjdIII: and your little gonads...and strife...

BjdIII: gonads in the LIGHTING!!!

BjdIII: THE LIGHTNING!!! In the RAIN!!

Haer: *Takes out the relena-axe*

Gimli: what a great axe!! how much do you want it for?

Haer: it has sentemental value

Haer: I couldn't part with it

Gimli: damn

Haer: unless you'd be willing to carry all my stuff

Haer: for me

Gimli: hmm.....

Gimli: never!! you're an elf!! no one trust an elf!! :)

Haer: Fine

Haer: Legolas, carry all my stuff

Legolas: NO!

BjdIII: too bad... Duo, get away from there!!

everyone but Duo and BjdIII: @_@

Haer: ^_^;;

Duo: but wh~y?

Haer: because, we don't want to see both of you have hot monkeysex here

BjdIII: exactly!!

Haer: because I don't have my camera!

BjdIII: Duo: where cane we have it then? :-\

BjdIII: hentai

Haer: and proud of it

BjdIII: whatever...

Haer: at least I can admit it

Duo: where can we have it then, Haer??

Haer: unlike other people...

BjdIII: i am not hentai...

Haer: hmmm....

Haer: I was referring to Duo

BjdIII: ah...

BjdIII: okay...well, i'm not one anywayz... ^_^

Duo: HAER!?!?!?! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!!!!

Haer: i'm thinking

Haer: I've got it!

BjdIII: hey hey hey hey...Duo...

BjdIII: did I *say* i wanted hot monkeysex with you!?

BjdIII: i think *not*! 

Haer: *pulls out a cottage from hammerspace*

There you go!

Gandalf: we musn't stop here! we will stop at...

Gandalf: wherever we stop at....

BjdIII: uh...Haer... Fellowship? ... Duo?? Anyone there...?

BjdIII: *echo answers her*

Haer: Sorry, I was having hot monkeysex with an elven maiden in that bush there

Haer: ^_^

BjdIII: oh

BjdIII: what's her name??

Haer: how should I know?

Haer: I don't ask these things!

BjdIII: hmm...

BjdIII: where's Duo?

Duo: *comes out of the cottage* ah, that was great

BjdIII: ....

BjdIII: and what were you doing in there..?

Haer: Wait, BjdIII, if you're out here, then who's-

Lurtz*Coming out of the cottage*: Attack, Uruk-hai!

BjdIII: who's Lurtz??

Haer: Uruk-hai capitain

BjdIII: ah...

BjdIII: Duo...you idiot...

Duo: I feel sick

BjdIII: of course you do...

BjdIII: *sigh*

Haer: Who wouldn't, after all, you just had sex with an Uruk-hai

Haer: was it everything you hoped it would be?

BjdIII: seriously...

Duo: sadly....

Duo: wait! Shut the fuck up, dude! He tricked me!

Lurtz: Did not

BjdIII: *sigh*

BjdIII: what are we going to do then? 

Legolas: we must continue

Haer: Yes, we must

BjdIII: of course

Haer: but who's gonna carry my stuff?

BjdIII: make Duo

Duo: No

Haer: Yes

Duo: NO!

Haer: NO!

Duo: YES!!!

BjdIII: lol

Haer: lol

BjdIII: okay, Duo...

BjdIII: you don't have to hold, Haer's stuff...

BjdIII: you can hold mine

BjdIII: ^_^;;

Haer: no, he agreed to hold my dtuff

Haer: wait

duopanthress: what?

Haer: I can put my stuff in hammerspace! ^_^

BjdIII: yeah!!

BjdIII: and Duo can carry my stuff!!! 

Haer: *puts his stuff into hammerspace*

BjdIII: *gives stuff to Duo*

Duo: why do i have to carry your stuff??

Haer: because

BjdIII: to make it up to me

Haer: because, everyone else needs a packmule

*Everyone else piles their stuff on Duo*

Haer: What else?

BjdIII: uh....

Haer: nothing else

Haer: Shouldn't we kill lurtz?

Duo: Let's

BjdIII: yes

Haer: or are you gonna screw around with him again?

Duo: Why you little...

BjdIII: let's kill him now...

*Fighting happens*

Lurtz: owwie!!!

Haer: *Later*

Lurtz: pain...

Lurtz: i see the eternal flames of...hell....*dies*

Lurtz: x_x

Haer: Wow duo, I didin't know your accuracy was that good

Duo: *grins*

Haer: I mean, to actually get an arrow through both of his testicles is quite a shot

BjdIII: uh...that wasn't Duo...

BjdIII: heh.....

BjdIII: that was Legolas... ^_^;;

Legolas: he flinched

BjdIII: eew...

All: *in sing-song voices* Legolas is si~ck, Legolas is si~ck...

Gimli: *wakes up* What'd I miss?

Haer: You missed legolas proving how sick he is

Gimli: he's sick...trust me...

BjdIII: *eyes light up* really...? *looks at Legolas* how sick...?

BjdIII: *under her breath* blackmail time...

Legolas: Not sick enough to do it with a human

BjdIII: I'M NOT A HUMAN THOUGH!!!!!!!!

Legolas: Fine. Not sick enough to do it with you

BjdIII: but...but... Oh wait--I get it...

Legolas: That you have a butt fetish?

Legolas: that you're sicker than me!

BjdIII: durg...NO YOU FOOL!!!

BjdIII: you're "Elven powers" just won't allow you to do anything moderately manly!!!!

BjdIII: or...male-Elvenly or whatever!!

BjdIII: YOU'RE AFRAID!!! BWAHAHAHAAA!!!

Legolas: Have you faced down a hord of orcs, alone?

BjdIII: i've faced down a hord of OZ soldiers alone...

BjdIII: have *you*?!

Legolas: OZ... What is that?

BjdIII: worse than Orcs, I can tell you that

BjdIII: so *ha*

Haer: Something much worse than orcs

Duo: yes...very...

All 3: *shiver*

Haer: Sufficed to say, they could wipe most of us out

Haer: With the exception of the 3 of us

Haer: 'cause we'd kick their ass

BjdIII: that reminds me...

BjdIII: how are the other four going to defeat OZ without Duo, yours, and my help?

Haer: they'll manage

Duo: they better

Haer: if anything, heero'll strap an atom bomb to his chest

BjdIII: heh, and he'll get a few broken ribs...

Duo: then the next day he'll be bouncing around training...

All 3: *sigh*

Haer: and then he'll  brobably reset his bones, maually

Duo: that still gives me the creeps...and i was eating when he did it!!!

BjdIII: Get away from me you evil I-pop-bones-back-into-place guy!!! //From my story: You Must Be This Tall//

Legolas: *what* are you talking about?

Haer: But I'm not heero

Haer: quiet Legolas

BjdIII: no, you're not...

Duo: seriously Lego-ass....

Haer: yeah, who asked you, sicko-elf-arrow-boy?

BjdIII: aw...stop picking on the poor, defenselss little elf...

Haer: he's not defenseless, he shot an aroow through Lurtz's 'nads with perfect accuracy!

BjdIII: um...

BjdIII: ok

BjdIII: stop picking on him anywayz!!

BjdIII: *glomps Legolas*

Legolas: GAH!!! GET OFF ME!!!

*Duo Glomps BjdIII*

Frodo (who had been watching BjdIII hug Duo with envy for the past...uh...time): *grr*

Haer: I'd like to remove her, but I value my genetailia

Haer: so, you;'re on your own!

Legolas: YOU TWO NEED TO GO ON A DIET!!!

Duo: *jumps off quickly* shit. oh great, Lego-ass...*now* you've done it....

Haer: *Hides behind Duo*

Duo: Haer, HEAD FOR THE HIGH HILLS!!!! HE PRACTICALLY CALLED HER FAT!!!

Haer: *Heads for the entrence to Moria*

Haer: SHIT!!!! HURRY UP DUO!!!!!

BjdIII: wait...aren't we supposed to camp for a while..

BjdIII: ??

Haer: oh ya

BjdIII: REWIND!!!

Haer: *Trips on a root*

BjdIII: okay...they get to...uh...

Haer: Ow

BjdIII: haha

BjdIII: hehe

BjdIII: just kidding...

Haer: Shit, Duo! There's a big rock! Hide behind it

*Duo and Haer hide behind said rock*

Gandalf: we are to camp here. In Caradhras...

Haer: ook

Duo *from behind rock*: Cards-ass? What kinda names are in this frickin' movie?!

Haer: don't ask me

Haer: anyways, we should camp

Duo: I thought Elves were supposed to be real smart...

Haer: I'm PART elf

Haer: and we're WISE

Haer: anyways, I think we should concentrate on Frodo

Duo: why Frodo?

Haer: you remember theose looks he was giving to BjdIII

Duo: *grins* I just wanna see Bj kick Lego-ass's Lego ass!

Duo: oh yeah!!! *glares at Frodo* stupid little kid...thing...

BjdIII: *kicks Legolas's ass*

Frodo: I'm a hobbit!

Duo: ...kid...thing!!

Haer: No, you're an Ex-hobbit.

Frodo: How?

Haer: Duo, would you like to do the honors?

Duo: Sure

*Duo draws "X"'s all over Frodo*

Haer: That's not what I meant... ^_^;;

BjdIII: *finishes kicking Legolas's ass*

Duo: oooh... I didn't know a bow could fit THAT far up there...

BjdIII: it can...it can...

BjdIII: it just needs a little elbow grease...

BjdIII: BWAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!

BjdIII: ...ha...

Haer: HAHAHAHA

Duo: Ha!

BjdIII: yeah

Haer: let's camp

BjdIII: yes, let's

Duo: quite

Haer: but first...

BjdIII: what?

Haer: *gives BjdIII a ring*

BjdIII: um....

Haer: This'll keep Frodo away during the night

BjdIII: okay!! 

BjdIII: for a second there i thought you had lost your mind, Haer!!

BjdIII: phew...

Haer: Never! I never had a mind to begin with!

Haer: so how could I lose it?

Haer: ^_^

BjdIII: umm....

BjdIII: i dunno...

BjdIII: *shrugs* i just thought you were gonna say something else...

BjdIII: hehehe

Haer: what, like" I want you.... To go get chinese food"?

BjdIII: uh...no..

BjdIII: ^_^;;

BjdIII: the "Big Question"

BjdIII: the "Big Question" i want Duo to ask me...which he will *glares at Duo*

Haer: will you get me mexican food?

BjdIII: i am *not* going to say the question...

BjdIII: i will not...

BjdIII: you're trying to trick me!! but i'm not going to fall for it!!

Haer: fall for what?

Haer: fall off a cliff?

BjdIII: ugh...nvm

Haer: a mountain?

duopanthress: NEVER MIND!!!

Haer: a plateau?

Duo: i'd stop while you're ahead, Haer...

Haer: But...

Haer: I wanna know...

Duo: stop...

Haer: fine...

BjdIII: good boy

Haer: Do I get a treat now?

BjdIII: umm....what kind of treat?

Haer: a scooby snak!

Haer: ^_^

BjdIII: er....okay. here. *gives Haer a scooby-snak*

Haer: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (^.^)(^.^)(^.^)

Gandalf: are you three done playing? because if you were listening, you would have heard that we just found Legolas in the bushes....

Gandalf: very hurt...

Haer: o.o

Gandalf: and Frodo with "X's" all over!!

Sam: WHO DID THIS TO YOU MR. FRODO!?!?!

*Duo whistles*

Frodo: X X X X X

Frodo: *in a choking voice* it...was...

*dies*

er---*faints*

Haer: you die, then faint?

BjdIII: i dunno

Duo: Now, who could have done such a thing! Wasn't me!

Sam: It was...HER!! THE DEMON GIRL!!! *points to BjdIII*

BjdIII: no....

BjdIII: I kicked *Legolas's* ass...

Haer: just go apeshit on him

BjdIII: LEH-GO-LUSS....

Haer: teach the hobbit a lesson, BjdIII, teach him respect

BjdIII: um...ok

BjdIII: ^_^

BjdIII: *goes Apeshit*

BjdIII: BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Haer: *Hands duo an Iced Tea* Now we sit back and watch

BjdIII: DIE NOW YOU FILTHY HOBBIT!!!

Sam: eep...

Duo: Thank you

Gandalf: *grows to match BjdIII's size* YOU WILL NOT HARM THIS HOBBIT!!!!

Haer: *grows to match Gandalf's size* But I will!

Haer: *harms the hobbit*

BjdIII: HAHA!!! 

Gandalf: NO!!! SAM!!! MY LOVER!!!!

Haer: o.O

BjdIII: eeew!!!!

Duo: I'm gonna hurl

Duo: heh, two guys...lovers. alright!! like Trowa and Quatre!! *shuts mouth* oops...

Duo: i wasn't supposed to say that...

Haer: We already knew that

Duo: really? how???

BjdIII: well, for one...i have the room next to theirs....

BjdIII: *twitch* i never knew the silent clown could be such a screamer...

Haer: dude, with the way quatre acts, how could he not be gay? No self-respecting guy dresses in PINK!

duopanthress: I heard he's color blind...

Duo: he's not color-blind...

Haer: I heard Trowa's the one who "gets it", if you know what I mean...

BjdIII: um....what?

Haer: ^_~

BjdIII: sorry...my brain's still in Rivendell...

BjdIII: and I'm dizzy...

Haer: the one whole polishes Quatre's rod of wonder, he dines at the all you can suck buffet?

BjdIII: ah...

BjdIII: i get it

BjdIII: hmm...makes sense...

Haer: Why else do you think he stands most of the time? His ass is sore

BjdIII: i'd always thought he'd be the one who makes progress with those things...

BjdIII: and when he bends over...

Haer: why do you think he bends over so much?

BjdIII: no...seriously....

BjdIII: we see more of his ass when he bends over than we do both his eyes!!

Haer: true, but if he didn't have so much hair, we couldn't say that

BjdIII: yeah...

BjdIII: i guess

Duo: someone should really tell those two that they aren't supposed to boink every night for five hours

Haer: Hey, I just realised something

Haer: Wufei must be gay as well!

BjdIII: why do you say that?

Haer: After all, he is scared of women

BjdIII: and so he is!!

BjdIII: wait -- but what about Sally?

Haer: and besides, what women would boink him? I've seen hookers turn him down!

BjdIII: don't they have the hots for each other?

Haer: nope

Duo: *laughs manically* true!!

Haer: just a ruse

Duo: there was this one hooker at the street corner and...

Haer: Sally's in love with Catherine

Duo, shush...

BjdIII: huh?

BjdIII: but i thought Catherine and Dorothy went for each other!

Haer: hmmm.....

Haer: That I must check out

BjdIII: or is that *Treize* and Dorothy?

Haer: ewww....

Haer: isn't trieze her uncle?

BjdIII: 'cause i mean, Dorothy and Catherine both like pointy objects...

BjdIII: yeah...

Haer: Dorothy is a pointy object

BjdIII: no, that's Wufei...

BjdIII: and speaking of Asian people, i think heero's bi...

Haer: why?

BjdIII: because...

BjdIII: i saw him and Mariemaia together the other day...

BjdIII: and then i saw him with Wufei, too...

BjdIII: hmm...

Haer: O.O

Haer: BLACKMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haer: ^_^

Haer: free food for me!!!!!!

BjdIII: he doesn't seem to realize that he is eight years Mariemaia's senior...

BjdIII: ha

Haer: still, if he's a pedophile, at least he's honest

BjdIII: who? Heero?

Haer: well, if he's 15, and mariemaia's 8 years younger than him....

Haer: she's below the age of consent

BjdIII: he's 16

Haer: which is 12

BjdIII: consent?

BjdIII: what do you mean by that?

Haer: the age when you're legally allowed to boink

BjdIII: ah

Haer: so if he's dating an 8 year-old  girl, and wufei....

Haer: oh god, I can't wait to get back....

BjdIII: hehehe

BjdIII: *rubs hands together*

Haer: Blackmail?

Duo: apparently we've got some takling to do with all of them...

Duo: and blackmail

Haer: yesyesyes

BjdIII: but i can't help but have the feeling that we've forgotten someone...

BjdIII: oh yeah!! Duo...

BjdIII: what's with you and Heero?

Duo: Nothing!

Haer: Liar

BjdIII: well, i know not *now*...

BjdIII: but *before* you met me..

Haer: I heard you a few nights ago

duopanthress: really?

Haer: My room's the one next to Heero's

BjdIII: no fair....

BjdIII: you get the ones who actually have some sense when to boink..

BjdIII: *sigh*

Haer: who'd ever thought Heero was a bondage freak?

Duo: Shut up...

BjdIII: *raises hand* i did...

BjdIII: it's just that look in his eye...

Haer: I din't, untill that fateful night...

BjdIII: *shivers* 

BjdIII: he's given that bondage look to me, as well...it freaks me out...

BjdIII: i mean, the Death Glare (TM) is freaky enough...

BjdIII: why go add that one to the collection, too?!?!

Haer: I don't think I'll ever get over Heero screaming "Say my name, bitch! Say my name!" The worst was hearing Wufei say "Master Heero"

BjdIII: ...and *that's* why I think he's bi...wait...no I *know* he's bi

Haer: *Shudders*

BjdIII: eek. poor you

Haer: did he lick his lips?

BjdIII: uh...no...

BjdIII: *shivers*

BjdIII: he smacked his lips!!

BjdIII: ARGH!!! THE HORROR!!

Haer: *shivers*

BjdIII: hehe...

BjdIII: it's freaky...and all i can do is laugh!

BjdIII: GAH!!!

BjdIII: anywayz...back to Duo...

Haer: yeah

Duo: I DO NOT LIKE HEERO!!!

BjdIII: anymore, yes we know...but you *used* to, didn't you??

Haer: So duo, how've your dates with Hilde been going

Haer: ?

BjdIII: huh?? 

BjdIII: you've been going out with HILDE!?!?!

Duo: Not bad

BjdIII: WHO'S NEXT!?!? RELENA?!?!?!!?

Duo: I mean, I don't know what you're talking about

Duo: Nah

BjdIII: ...

BjdIII: HOW COULD YOU!?!?!

BjdIII: *cries*

Haer: Relena's been boinking her brother

BjdIII: duh!!

Duo: It's easy, first I ask Hilde out on a date, then.......

BjdIII: that's not what i mean, pea-brain

Duo: oh

Duo: Hey!

BjdIII: *cries*

BjdIII: *sobs*

BjdIII: *tear*

Duo: Don't insult my inteligence, or lack therof!

BjdIII: ....

BjdIII: *sniff*

BjdIII: oh great...now i'm acting like Trowa!!!

BjdIII: ARGH!!! *sobs loudly*

Haer: you might wanna see these 

*Hands BjdIII pictures of Duo and Trowa making out*

BjdIII: *gasp*

BjdIII: Oh...my.....GOD...

BjdIII: you're bi, too!!!

BjdIII: EEEWWW!!!

Haer: and these

*Pictures of Duo and Wufei, Duo and Heero, Duo and Quatre, Duo and Trieze*

BjdIII: I BET YOU KNEW IT WAS URUK-HAI!!

BjdIII: *shiver*

BjdIII: just don't give me one of him and Zechs...

Duo: Please don't raise your voice at me....

BjdIII: then I may actually be able to live....

Haer: Nah, I burnt that one, it was too sick for me

BjdIII: OMIGOD!!!!

BjdIII: *faints*

Haer: oh well

Haer: *steals her wallet*

BjdIII: *wakes up*

Haer: yoink

BjdIII: give it back!

Haer: damn

Haer: *does so*

BjdIII: knioy!

(knioy=yoink spelled backwards)

BjdIII: Duo....

BjdIII: you're a bi...

BjdIII: and you never told me!

Haer: How could you duo?

Duo: uh..

Duo: I wanted to leave it all behind for you!

BjdIII: aww...that's so sweet...

Duo: I never mean to hurt you...

BjdIII: still doesn't change the past though

BjdIII: *snorts*

BjdIII: right

Duo: I never meant to make you cry....

BjdIII: *cries*

Haer: *comforts her* There there, it'll be all right

BjdIII: *sobs*

Haer: *comfort**comfort*

BjdIII: *sob**sob*

Haer: *pat**pat*

BjdIII: *cry**cry*

Duo: *watches*

Duo *thinking*: ~dammit~

The Fellowship (almost forgot about them): *watching in confusion*

Legolas: umm...what just happened here...?

Gimili: Beats me, I was sleeping

Merry and Pippin: of course!! 

Haer: They just had a fight

BjdIII: *sniffs*

BjdIII: it's not the first...

Haer: probably won't be the last

BjdIII: most likely...

BjdIII: *squints* ...and...what...are those birds doing...?

Duo: YAY!!! SHe forgives me! *Glomps BjdIII*

BjdIII: why are they all in a flock? it's not winter in Rivendell...is it?

BjdIII: *unconsciously glomps Duo while still transfixed on the birds of EVIL*

Haer: Flock? Birds?

Haer: Shit! Everyone! Take cover!

*everyone does so*

*the birds pass*

*everyone comes out from cover*

*except Duo and BjdIII*

Haer: Will you two stop with the monkey sex?

Duo: no!!

Haer: oh. okay

BjdIII: we're not HAVING monkeysex!!

BjdIII: Duo's braid is tangled in this bushes!!

Haer: just cut it off

BjdIII: seriously

Haer: ^_~

Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NO NO NO NO NO!!!

Haer: oh! the braid! I thought you said domething else ^_~

BjdIII: *shiver*

Duo: AHHHHHHH!!! EVEN WORSE!!!!

Haer: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BjdIII: *gasp*

BjdIII: omigod...

BjdIII: Haer....his...uh...'family jewels' - if you get what i mean - are stuck....

BjdIII: in the bush...

BjdIII: also..

Haer: O.o

BjdIII: *i'm* not doing it...

Haer: Cut those off as well

Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

BjdIII: NO!!! NO!!! then we won't be able to boink!!

Haer: I'll help

BjdIII: yes, you do it...

Haer: *Draws a battle axe*

BjdIII: i'm going to hit my head on a tree...

BjdIII: hehe

Haer: don't worry, it'll be gone before you know it

Duo: BUT THE PAIN WON'T!!!!

Duo: DON'T YOU DARE!!!

Haer: *cuts the bush in half, leaving duo perfectly intact*

Haer: There you go

Haer: Just have faith Duo, have Faith

Duo: *sigh of relief*

Duo: Faith Hill!!

Haer: *facefaults*

BjdIII: *slaps Duo at the back of the head*

BjdIII: don't think about other women...

Haer: Or men

BjdIII: or else i'll do the job Haer didn't do...

Duo: Shut up

Haer: O.O

Gandalf: we've been waiting for the past hour...

Gandalf: we must go into the Mines of Moria

Haer: Must we?

Duo: the minds of moles?! WHAT?!?!

Gandalf: YES WE MUST!!!

Haer: NO, we must not!

BjdIII: *whispers to Haer* oh shit...i know what happens when we get in there...

Haer: *whispers back* So do I

BjdIII: *shiver*

Haer: well, look on the bright side, at least it's not us!

BjdIII: um...we're going in there, too...

Haer: do'h

BjdIII: eh...yeah

Haer: well, lets meet with destiny

Destiny: Hi! I'm destiny!

BjdIII: ooh...

BjdIII: aah...

Destiny: I'll be your tour guide for the Mines of Moria!

BjdIII: er...oooooookay

Haer: ooohh.... Shiny....

BjdIII: hehehe

Haer: she's pretty....

BjdIII: right

Haer: i'm gonna go see if I can "get with her"

BjdIII: ok

BjdIII: whatever

Duo: i'm hungry

Haer: *smack*

Haer: Owie

Haer: uppity bitch

BjdIII: *bursts out laughing*

BjdIII: Well...until next time..........

BjdIII: Dew the Do...

Haer: ?

BjdIII: Da End!!!

Haer: kool

BjdIII: ...or is it...?

~~~~

God!! That took WAAAAAAAAAY too long!! Poor Haer, he had to do it twice as long!! This took about an hour for me to edit, and about two to three hours for Haer and I to make. So...YOU BETTER ENJOY IT!!!!

BjdIII: and, as it says -- Da End!! Kool ...Or is it...? And I've decided on a little challenge for Haer and I (all you hentai freaks...not that way...) without telling him.... ^_^    Give us four colors, two verbs, two vegetables, three fruits, a writing utensil, a name and two random objects (anything...i mean *anything*) and we'll put it in here!! And if alot of people review....heh...it should be pretty damn funny!! ^_~

Duo: Until next time...

Haer: Dew the do!!!

Please review!!


End file.
